simplepuzzle (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
simplepuzzle) wrote2015-01-01 03:11 pm
simplepuzzle) wrote2015-01-01 03:11 pm
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"Do you guys want to stay here for a while?"
It might be quick, to go right back to living together but Chuck doesn't want to be alone.
Yancy and Raleigh glance at each other, and Raleigh nods.
"Yeah. We do."
"I wasn't trying to hurt myself," he says abruptly after several minutes of nearly content silence. "I didn't take anything. I just--got careless. Drank too much."
He's not going to do it again.
Probably.
Don't. Their father was an alcoholic and while the occasional night out is fine...
This? Not okay. Doing this more than once is probably a really good way to lose them both.
"No more of that," Yancy says quietly. "Please."
"I won't." He doesn't say something like 'don't give me a reason to' because that would be incredibly shitty to put it on them like that and it would practically be a threat--so. He doesn't say it.
"I'm sorry," he says into Raleigh's neck.
"I'm sorry," he says into Raleigh's neck.
See, they're all learning. Don't say shitty things to each other. It's not worth it.
"Forgiven," Raleigh says, pulling him in close and tight, unwilling to let go. It's been so long since he's held Chuck that he nearly loses it, but instead presses his face into Chuck's hair and breathes him in, closing his eyes.
God you scared him.
Yancy pulls into Chuck's drive and comes around to let them both out, offering a hand to Chuck. They're in a rental and Yancy's the only one of the two with a valid international drivers license, so he's stuck behind the wheel.
Once Chuck's out, it's Yancy's turn to pull him into a tight hug.
"Scared us, kid."
Chuck's never purposefully said something shitty to Yancy or Raleigh unless they were fighting. Any time he's said something shitty otherwise he hasn't realized the impact of his words, and that's something they probably need to work on.
He buries his face in Yancy's shoulder and shudders, clinging to him in a way he wasn't clinging to Raleigh.
Hopefully Raleigh can deal with that. It's not that he missed Raleigh less, it's that Yancy's always been better at the comfort thing. "Cos I totally did it to get your attention," he mumbles into Yancy's shoulder before pulling away, letting go of him to look at Raleigh.
"...I'm not sure I've forgiven you yet," he admits. "It's gonna take some time, but I want this."
He buries his face in Yancy's shoulder and shudders, clinging to him in a way he wasn't clinging to Raleigh.
Hopefully Raleigh can deal with that. It's not that he missed Raleigh less, it's that Yancy's always been better at the comfort thing. "Cos I totally did it to get your attention," he mumbles into Yancy's shoulder before pulling away, letting go of him to look at Raleigh.
"...I'm not sure I've forgiven you yet," he admits. "It's gonna take some time, but I want this."
That's definitely what it looks like, that he missed Raleigh significantly less. It stings, but what can you do. He wants this. Raleigh doesn't say anything, just steps closer, starved for that kind of affection.
"I want it too."
See, no, that's an example of what he needs to be doing, he needs to say that it bothered him. Chuck loves him so fucking much but he can't tiptoe around everything because it might make Raleigh leave again, that's unhealthy.
He reaches to curl his hand around his wrist and squeezes lightly before letting go and unlocking the house.
"Dad's out of town for a while," he says. "He doesn't live in this house anyway but he might call to shout at me for being an idiot."
He reaches to curl his hand around his wrist and squeezes lightly before letting go and unlocking the house.
"Dad's out of town for a while," he says. "He doesn't live in this house anyway but he might call to shout at me for being an idiot."
It's unhealthy for everyone, honestly.
"As well he should," Yancy says, reaching to ruffle his hair.
"It was definitely an idiot move."
It really is.
Chuck shoulders the door open, ducking away from the ruffle with a growl. "Well I'm not exactly the stupidest person in the room right now so shut up, I need a shower."
Chuck shoulders the door open, ducking away from the ruffle with a growl. "Well I'm not exactly the stupidest person in the room right now so shut up, I need a shower."
"Drinking to the point of hospitalization trumps breaking up because you thought you couldn't handle it." Raleigh grumbles. "If you're gonna throw it in my face every chance you get this won't work."
"And if you can't own up to what you did this isn't gonna work," Chuck snaps back, sitting down heavily on the stairs for a moment. They can't even get past the first hurdle, can they?
"I did! I told you I was sorry and that it was stupid. What the hell else do you want me to do?!"
Raleigh stops in front of him, arms folded.
"Tell me what you want from me."
Chuck kind of hunches, arms curled around himself.
"I want you not to have left in the first place," he says quietly. "I want to not to have to worry about stepping wrong and making you leave again, or that you're lying to us again--for fuck's sake, we're already fighting, Raleigh." Can they really do this?
"I want you not to have left in the first place," he says quietly. "I want to not to have to worry about stepping wrong and making you leave again, or that you're lying to us again--for fuck's sake, we're already fighting, Raleigh." Can they really do this?
He glances at Yancy then steps forward, squatting down so he can get on Chuck's level.
"I can't change what happened," he says quietly, reaching for his hands. "I wish I could. But I can't change the past. All I can do is move on and learn from my mistakes, and hope that you can forgive me for them. I'm sorry I hurt you. You have no idea how sorry I am. I was stupid."
"And you don't get to get on my arse about the stupid shit I did," he says, gripping Raleigh's hands tight enough to hurt. "It was one thing and it was an accident. If you get to get on my case I get to be on yours."
....no, Chuck, that's not how it works.
....no, Chuck, that's not how it works.
"That isn't how it works," Yancy says, coming to sit next to him. "This could have killed you, Chuck. If anyone at all had decided to try and let you sleep it off, you'd be dead."
He sighs.
"And throwing things in each other's faces...that isn't going to work either. Chuck, you fucked up. Raleigh, so did you. Accept it and move on, otherwise this is doomed."
"Hey, I was the one who told them to take me to the hospital," Chuck snaps up at him. "I did one stupid thing, Raleigh disappeared for a fucking month, I feel enough like shit and I'm not doing it again, I don't want to fucking hear about it any more!"
Tell that to Raleigh Yancy, Chuck just wants a shower and to go to bed.
Tell that to Raleigh Yancy, Chuck just wants a shower and to go to bed.
"Yeah you know what-- he's right."
Raleigh brows his hands up.
"He's never gonna forgive it or let me forget."
"I wasn't going to bring it up, except in talking about what we're doing," Chuck says, trying for snappish but just coming out as weak as his head hangs. He still feels like shit, weak and tired--and maybe this just doesn't work.
"Are you going to leave again?"
After promising he'd try? After begging Chuck to take him back? So easily?
"No!"
He's tempted.
"No. Let's just get you to bed. You need rest and liquids."
"What do I have to do to keep you both?" he mumbles, almost like he hasn't heard Raleigh, using the bannister to support himself as he stands up.
"What do we have to do to stop you leaving?" He'll do almost anything, Raleigh. Please.
"..Chuck." He can feel his anger ebbing, and he comes to wiggle under chucks other arm to help.
"I love you. I'm not leaving. I promise."
"You almost just did, didn't you?" It hurts. It hurt so badly again to know Raleigh was about to give up so easily and Chuck can't live like that, not if he's going to threaten to leave every time Chuck gets a little rough around the edges.
Because, to be frank, that's who he is.
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