He knows he's being avoided and he's...so fucking sorry. He's hurting everyone, everyone he cares about - even Janine, because yes, he cares about her.
Raleigh hates that he has to hurt her, that he's going to hurt her. She's pretty understanding and kind, too - openminded and amazing and Raleigh wishes he could tell her what he's doing, because she's fucking smart and she might be able to help, but he just...can't.
This will be his cross - all of the guilt associated with hurting innocent people.
The night comes and Raleigh accompanies, gets Sam nice and toasted drunk, then slips away to scour the office, picking it apart and hunting down Chuck's pelt until at last, finally, he finds it behind a painting.
Heart slamming in his chest, he grips it to him, folds it as small as possible, then slips out the back and into the night, running at full speed back to Chuck's house where he bangs on the door.
Chuck almost wants to let him soak a few minutes because it's not even as though Raleigh shared any plan with him or anything, but he answers it pretty promptly, an unamused look on his face.
He wants to snap something like isn't the party missing him and then--
--he sees what he's holding, and the words stop in his throat. He's frozen for several seconds, sure he's going to wake up--because he has dreamed this before, Raleigh, his pelt, dreams that were so real.
"That's." he has to swallow to be able to say anything. "Is it?"
He couldn't. He couldn't share any of it, just in case. It's not that he thought Chuck would spill - especially not on purpose - but he just couldn't run the risk of anything being spoiled. He's been planning this for months, ever since he heard about the banquet.
Raleigh swallows the lump in his throat and he nods, and shoves the skin into Chuck's hands.
Chuck grips it tightly and then throws himself against Raleigh, one arm around him (because he's not letting go of his skin for anything).
"Thank you," he whispers against his neck, holding Raleigh's tuxedo jacket almost as tightly as he's gripping his skin. "What are you doing to do?"
Is he going to stay here, live his life with Janine? Is he going to try to start his construction job? or will he go somewhere else, disappear into the world?
"I loved you ten years ago when you left," he says, still holding onto him. "I didn't tell you that then." Because he thought he'd see him next summer; he thought he'd see him ever again, but he regretted not saying it for a while. And then he just got angry.
And he's going to lose him again; he doesn't want to tell Chuck where he's going and there's got to be good reason for that. He pulls away, holding his pelt tight against his chest.
His fingers curl against Chuck's shirt, lift and thread briefly through his hair before he's pulling away. What remains of Raleigh's heart shatters, and he gives Chuck a sad smile.
Still past tense; Chuck nods once and runs, moving past Raleigh and hightailing it for the sea.
He's at the beach where it started; it's owned by Sam now, and tainted, but it's always empty. He tears his clothes off of him, throwing his shoes into the trees like he hates them, and dives into the water with his skin wrapped around him.
The water feels so good, and his skin fits around him like it always did. He was afraid he'd grow and the skin wouldn't, it wouldn't fit right, but it's perfect it's fine and he's back.
He wants to stick to the coastline for a while, keep an eye on where Raleigh goes but as soon as Sam sees he's gone he'll come after the single seal hanging around the island, it's a no-go. So he swims. He looks for his pod, for his dad; he's actually looking forward to hearing the 'i told you so'.
Raleigh has little option but to haul ass back to Janine's and grab what little shit he's got, and disappear into the night. He wants to watch Chuck go, wants to tell him he still cares, he's still in love but that's fair to absolutely no one.
So he leaves, gets his stuff and disappears into the night.
If anything, Raleigh's become very good at disappearing and in this day and age, with things as bad as they are, it's not hard to vanish - especially when you have no family to care.
Sam's pretty well connected, but even he'll be hard pressed to find Raleigh Becket, especially when he starts going by Richard Lapierre.
He eventually goes to Sitka, trying to get that job back, working on the coastal program, trying to earn ration cards so he doesn't starve.
...He always picks jobs as high as he can get, so he can look out at the sea. If he squints, sometimes he thinks maybe he can see a brown spot far out in the waves.
Chuck finds his pod, endures the 'i told you so's that are swept up in just happy you're backs.
And it's years before he takes his skin off again, even when he's around his pod. He's content to flop in the sun as a seal, pile up with the others and dive after fish.
Raleigh's never too far from his thoughts though. He wonders if Sam found him, made him pay in some way for setting Chuck free. He wonders if he stayed with Janine, if he ran and took her with him. He wonders where he could have gone that he refused to tell Chuck.
It's still years before he takes his skin off and walks among humans, and when he does it's in Sitka. It's a long shot, and he doesn't know if Raleigh's even there. If he's not, he'll go back to the sea and give up.
Years pass and somehow, Raleigh evades notice - Janine tries to find him and damn, but she gets close. He sees her in Sitka once, asking around for a Raleigh Becket and he hides out in his shitty little apartment for a week, feigning illness until he's SURE she's gone.
He doesn't know if she's looking for him for her own benefit or if she's teamed up with Sam, but he doesn't want to find out.
He keeps his promise to Chuck and manages to take care of himself - he stays relatively healthy, keeps in shape, but he's miserable. He works to eat and eats to work and he's a little skinnier than he should be, but he's alive and he's healthy.
Years pass and Raleigh ages and by the time he's thirty he feels ninety, and he's slinging his work sack over his shoulder and heading off for the day when he sees a familiar face.
The bag he's holding hits the ground with a clank, and he's standing there staring, open mouthed, unaware of people bumping past him and grumbling things like move it, Lapierre--
It's the clank that gets Chuck's attention--he's been wandering around the construction site for a while now, pretty much blending in with the rest of the humans (and when someone tries to get him to do something he mutters something and pretends he's going off to do it only to hide somewhere else until they get distracted). It's bigger than he thought.
Raleigh looks...Not worse, because he's clearly been taking better care of himself than he had been a few years ago, which...at least he's keeping his promise.
Chuck digs his hands into his pockets and smiles crookedly at him, head tilted.
....is this a good staring or a bad staring. Did Raleigh not want him to find him?
There's a soft 'oof' as he's engulfed in a hug--and through several layers, it turns out Alaska is cold--and Chuck's hugging him back, pressing his face into Raleigh's scarf and gripping him tightly.
"Sorry, I know you didn't want me to find you I just--had to know you were gonna be okay," he mumbles, only shuddering a little as Raleigh's breath tickles his ear.
He doesn't want to let go and people are surprisingly giving them a fairly wide berth. Raleigh doesn't speak a lot, doesn't have any friends, so for him to be physically affectionate to someone is kind of weird and they just...go around.
"What're you doing here?" He murmurs, breath warm on his cool skin. "Why'd you come back to land?"
Raleigh leads Chuck back to his apartment - it's tiny but clean, and not far from the construction site. Raleigh's truck had finally died and it's parked outside, but poor Gipsy needs some parts.
He lets Chuck in, and it's a painfully lonely apartment with the bare furnishing and no decorations.
"Whatever you're having." He takes his coat off but he's got a thick sweater under that. His skin's under all of that too; he's never letting it out of his sight ever again.
"I've got tea and coffee." And water. That's...about it. He decides on tea
and fumbles around for the kettle -- his hands are cold and achey, the
older he gets the worse off his hands are - and sets the water to boil.
While it heats, he sort of leans on the wall and watches Chuck, confusion
still written on his face.
"...wanted to see you." Is that not reason enough? "I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. You didn't want to tell me anything about what you were going to do and...I mean if it's because you didn't want me to find you, that's, I can go."
He moves forward, getting his hands on Raleigh and holding him up if he looks like he's going to fall.
"And I haven't been," he says quietly. "Nobody knows me here, I'm not letting go of it ever again, if I didn't find you I was going to leave and stop looking."
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simplepuzzle) wrote2014-03-13 08:53 pm
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Raleigh hates that he has to hurt her, that he's going to hurt her. She's pretty understanding and kind, too - openminded and amazing and Raleigh wishes he could tell her what he's doing, because she's fucking smart and she might be able to help, but he just...can't.
This will be his cross - all of the guilt associated with hurting innocent people.
The night comes and Raleigh accompanies, gets Sam nice and toasted drunk, then slips away to scour the office, picking it apart and hunting down Chuck's pelt until at last, finally, he finds it behind a painting.
Heart slamming in his chest, he grips it to him, folds it as small as possible, then slips out the back and into the night, running at full speed back to Chuck's house where he bangs on the door.
Come on Chuck, answer!
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He wants to snap something like isn't the party missing him and then--
--he sees what he's holding, and the words stop in his throat. He's frozen for several seconds, sure he's going to wake up--because he has dreamed this before, Raleigh, his pelt, dreams that were so real.
"That's." he has to swallow to be able to say anything. "Is it?"
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Raleigh swallows the lump in his throat and he nods, and shoves the skin into Chuck's hands.
"It's yours. Go, Chuck. Run."
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"Thank you," he whispers against his neck, holding Raleigh's tuxedo jacket almost as tightly as he's gripping his skin. "What are you doing to do?"
Is he going to stay here, live his life with Janine? Is he going to try to start his construction job? or will he go somewhere else, disappear into the world?
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"Don't worry about me," he murmurs, arm tight around Chuck's waist. "I'll be fine. Go, Chuck. You've got to go."
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"I loved you ten years ago when you left," he says, still holding onto him. "I didn't tell you that then." Because he thought he'd see him next summer; he thought he'd see him ever again, but he regretted not saying it for a while. And then he just got angry.
And he's going to lose him again; he doesn't want to tell Chuck where he's going and there's got to be good reason for that. He pulls away, holding his pelt tight against his chest.
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"I loved you too."
Now go, before they're both in trouble.
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He's at the beach where it started; it's owned by Sam now, and tainted, but it's always empty. He tears his clothes off of him, throwing his shoes into the trees like he hates them, and dives into the water with his skin wrapped around him.
The water feels so good, and his skin fits around him like it always did. He was afraid he'd grow and the skin wouldn't, it wouldn't fit right, but it's perfect it's fine and he's back.
He wants to stick to the coastline for a while, keep an eye on where Raleigh goes but as soon as Sam sees he's gone he'll come after the single seal hanging around the island, it's a no-go. So he swims. He looks for his pod, for his dad; he's actually looking forward to hearing the 'i told you so'.
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So he leaves, gets his stuff and disappears into the night.
If anything, Raleigh's become very good at disappearing and in this day and age, with things as bad as they are, it's not hard to vanish - especially when you have no family to care.
Sam's pretty well connected, but even he'll be hard pressed to find Raleigh Becket, especially when he starts going by Richard Lapierre.
He eventually goes to Sitka, trying to get that job back, working on the coastal program, trying to earn ration cards so he doesn't starve.
...He always picks jobs as high as he can get, so he can look out at the sea. If he squints, sometimes he thinks maybe he can see a brown spot far out in the waves.
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And it's years before he takes his skin off again, even when he's around his pod. He's content to flop in the sun as a seal, pile up with the others and dive after fish.
Raleigh's never too far from his thoughts though. He wonders if Sam found him, made him pay in some way for setting Chuck free. He wonders if he stayed with Janine, if he ran and took her with him. He wonders where he could have gone that he refused to tell Chuck.
It's still years before he takes his skin off and walks among humans, and when he does it's in Sitka. It's a long shot, and he doesn't know if Raleigh's even there. If he's not, he'll go back to the sea and give up.
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He doesn't know if she's looking for him for her own benefit or if she's teamed up with Sam, but he doesn't want to find out.
He keeps his promise to Chuck and manages to take care of himself - he stays relatively healthy, keeps in shape, but he's miserable. He works to eat and eats to work and he's a little skinnier than he should be, but he's alive and he's healthy.
Years pass and Raleigh ages and by the time he's thirty he feels ninety, and he's slinging his work sack over his shoulder and heading off for the day when he sees a familiar face.
The bag he's holding hits the ground with a clank, and he's standing there staring, open mouthed, unaware of people bumping past him and grumbling things like move it, Lapierre--
He's too busy staring at Chuck.
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Raleigh looks...Not worse, because he's clearly been taking better care of himself than he had been a few years ago, which...at least he's keeping his promise.
Chuck digs his hands into his pockets and smiles crookedly at him, head tilted.
....is this a good staring or a bad staring. Did Raleigh not want him to find him?
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He's dumbfounded by what he's seeing, and just --
crosses the distance and sweeps Chuck into his arms, pulling him into a tight hug, lips ghosting over his ear.
"Chuck."
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"Sorry, I know you didn't want me to find you I just--had to know you were gonna be okay," he mumbles, only shuddering a little as Raleigh's breath tickles his ear.
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"What're you doing here?" He murmurs, breath warm on his cool skin. "Why'd you come back to land?"
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"Are you busy?" Chuck can come back. Or he can hang out somewhere in the area.
If Raleigh wants to see him.
...which, by the hug, he probably does.
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"I'm off for the day. You wanna...?"
Come back with him, have coffee or tea or something?
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whatever Raleigh wants to do. Hang out, drink tea, do...something. With him.
...unless Janine's there too.
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He lets Chuck in, and it's a painfully lonely apartment with the bare furnishing and no decorations.
"...You, uh. Want something to drink?"
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....it's also depressing.
"Whatever you're having." He takes his coat off but he's got a thick sweater under that. His skin's under all of that too; he's never letting it out of his sight ever again.
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Completely understandable.
"I've got tea and coffee." And water. That's...about it. He decides on tea and fumbles around for the kettle -- his hands are cold and achey, the older he gets the worse off his hands are - and sets the water to boil.
While it heats, he sort of leans on the wall and watches Chuck, confusion still written on his face.
"What're you doing here, Chuck? Really."
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"...wanted to see you." Is that not reason enough? "I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay. You didn't want to tell me anything about what you were going to do and...I mean if it's because you didn't want me to find you, that's, I can go."
He just wanted to see him again.
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"No, don't go."
His hands grip the wall, using it to hold himself up.
"I wanted you safe, Chuck. That's why I didn't tell you. You shouldn't be on land."
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"And I haven't been," he says quietly. "Nobody knows me here, I'm not letting go of it ever again, if I didn't find you I was going to leave and stop looking."
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The tea heats in the background and Raleigh swallows, eyes moving over Chuck's face, drinking him in and memorizing his features all over again.
"You look good," he says hoarsely, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Didn't think I'd ever see you again."
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