"If this isn't working, for any of us," he starts, looking between the both of them, "we say immediately. No matter what. Even if we're in mid-fuck. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and I--we have to accept that."
"I wasn't trying to hurt myself," he says abruptly after several minutes of
nearly content silence. "I didn't take anything. I just--got careless.
Drank too much."
"I won't." He doesn't say something like 'don't give me a reason to' because that would be incredibly shitty to put it on them like that and it would practically be a threat--so. He doesn't say it.
See, they're all learning. Don't say shitty things to each other. It's not
worth it.
"Forgiven," Raleigh says, pulling him in close and tight, unwilling to let
go. It's been so long since he's held Chuck that he nearly loses it, but
instead presses his face into Chuck's hair and breathes him in, closing his
eyes.
God you scared him.
Yancy pulls into Chuck's drive and comes around to let them both out,
offering a hand to Chuck. They're in a rental and Yancy's the only one of
the two with a valid international drivers license, so he's stuck behind
the wheel.
Once Chuck's out, it's Yancy's turn to pull him into a tight hug.
Chuck's never purposefully said something shitty to Yancy or Raleigh unless they were fighting. Any time he's said something shitty otherwise he hasn't realized the impact of his words, and that's something they probably need to work on.
He buries his face in Yancy's shoulder and shudders, clinging to him in a way he wasn't clinging to Raleigh.
Hopefully Raleigh can deal with that. It's not that he missed Raleigh less, it's that Yancy's always been better at the comfort thing. "Cos I totally did it to get your attention," he mumbles into Yancy's shoulder before pulling away, letting go of him to look at Raleigh.
"...I'm not sure I've forgiven you yet," he admits. "It's gonna take some time, but I want this."
That's definitely what it looks like, that he missed Raleigh significantly less. It stings, but what can you do. He wants this. Raleigh doesn't say anything, just steps closer, starved for that kind of affection.
See, no, that's an example of what he needs to be doing, he needs to say that it bothered him. Chuck loves him so fucking much but he can't tiptoe around everything because it might make Raleigh leave again, that's unhealthy.
He reaches to curl his hand around his wrist and squeezes lightly before letting go and unlocking the house.
"Dad's out of town for a while," he says. "He doesn't live in this house anyway but he might call to shout at me for being an idiot."
Chuck shoulders the door open, ducking away from the ruffle with a growl. "Well I'm not exactly the stupidest person in the room right now so shut up, I need a shower."
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"My dad's in a meeting, can you guys come pick me up from the hospital?"
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It's Raleigh who picks up.
"Yeah. Course. Give us five."
And they'll be right there.
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He's glad to see his guys.
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It is. And Raleigh insists on pushing and makes airplane noises.
"Where to?"
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"You want to come home with me?"
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Too bad.
"Sure."
Get him all set up.
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Because Chuck's willing to try it again as long as Raleigh's honest with them.
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That works too. The drive is pretty quiet.
But they're here and listening.
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"If this isn't working, for any of us," he starts, looking between the both of them, "we say immediately. No matter what. Even if we're in mid-fuck. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work, and I--we have to accept that."
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A series of nods before Raleigh speaks up.
"Agreed."
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"Good." He's going to lean against Raleigh's side now and press his face into his shoulder. He's tired.
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Raleigh exhales a long sigh, and wraps him up.
"Is..are we..?"
Back together?
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"I wanna be," he mumbles into his shoulder, curling his arms around his waist. "I wanna pretend so badly that none of this happened."
But they can't, not if they want to do this right.
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"We can't pretend it didn't happen," Yancy says.
"But we can learn and move on. If you want."
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"Do you guys want to stay here for a while?"
It might be quick, to go right back to living together but Chuck doesn't want to be alone.
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Yancy and Raleigh glance at each other, and Raleigh nods.
"Yeah. We do."
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"I wasn't trying to hurt myself," he says abruptly after several minutes of nearly content silence. "I didn't take anything. I just--got careless. Drank too much."
He's not going to do it again.
Probably.
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Don't. Their father was an alcoholic and while the occasional night out is fine...
This? Not okay. Doing this more than once is probably a really good way to lose them both.
"No more of that," Yancy says quietly. "Please."
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"I'm sorry," he says into Raleigh's neck.
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See, they're all learning. Don't say shitty things to each other. It's not worth it.
"Forgiven," Raleigh says, pulling him in close and tight, unwilling to let go. It's been so long since he's held Chuck that he nearly loses it, but instead presses his face into Chuck's hair and breathes him in, closing his eyes.
God you scared him.
Yancy pulls into Chuck's drive and comes around to let them both out, offering a hand to Chuck. They're in a rental and Yancy's the only one of the two with a valid international drivers license, so he's stuck behind the wheel.
Once Chuck's out, it's Yancy's turn to pull him into a tight hug.
"Scared us, kid."
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He buries his face in Yancy's shoulder and shudders, clinging to him in a way he wasn't clinging to Raleigh.
Hopefully Raleigh can deal with that. It's not that he missed Raleigh less, it's that Yancy's always been better at the comfort thing. "Cos I totally did it to get your attention," he mumbles into Yancy's shoulder before pulling away, letting go of him to look at Raleigh.
"...I'm not sure I've forgiven you yet," he admits. "It's gonna take some time, but I want this."
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That's definitely what it looks like, that he missed Raleigh significantly less. It stings, but what can you do. He wants this. Raleigh doesn't say anything, just steps closer, starved for that kind of affection.
"I want it too."
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He reaches to curl his hand around his wrist and squeezes lightly before letting go and unlocking the house.
"Dad's out of town for a while," he says. "He doesn't live in this house anyway but he might call to shout at me for being an idiot."
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It's unhealthy for everyone, honestly.
"As well he should," Yancy says, reaching to ruffle his hair.
"It was definitely an idiot move."
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Chuck shoulders the door open, ducking away from the ruffle with a growl. "Well I'm not exactly the stupidest person in the room right now so shut up, I need a shower."
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