simplepuzzle | It's been a while....

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It's been a while....

It's been five years since Chuck left. Left his home, left his dad, left his dog, left Raleigh.

And he hasn't looked back.

Because if he looked back he'd have to think about what he's left behind and if he thinks about it he'd have to do something about it. But it didn't work and they tried, they tried so hard. And it didn't make a damn bit of difference, so Chuck...throws himself into school. And he tries.

Occasionally, he tries to date. A girl here, a guy there. Every time he tries to make an effort at a relationship it ends with a lot of anger. Chuck's not really good at this. Nothing's compared to Raleigh, and Chuck's not sure he'll ever have something like it again. And he refuses to settle.
Love isn't everything. Chuck focuses on school. It's okay.

And he's good. He's really good. That and the occasional one night stand satisfies him.

And then he gets a call from Herc. Yancy's been in an accident. He's broken a few limbs, and he hasn't woken up. Herc isn't saying he should come back, and Chuck's been staring at Raleigh's number when Mako calls him.
He needs you.
Come home.

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Chuck wants to agree with Raleigh's admission of dickishness, but he wisely keeps his mouth shut on that subject.

"Like I said, I'm here when you need me." He smiles crookedly.

"How can I help?"

He gestures up at the tree, eyes crinkling as he smiles sort of tiredly.

"Watch them light this thing with me and help me pass out drinks to half wasted adults?"

Chuck wants to lean in and kiss the corner of his eyes at those wrinkles, just to ease them.

"Sounds good." And maybe they can bury a couple hatchets. Chuck'll follow Raleigh around to the drinks. After swallowing his own cup and tossing it out.

He comes to stand next to Chuck so he can see the tree, his shoulder barely touching against Chuck's. The tree isn't lit yet, but they're starting to talk on stage about traditions and this, that and the other.

It's only through sheer force of will that he doesn't sling an arm around Chuck's shoulders and draw him in like he used to do. Even so, his gloved hand brushes against Chuck's bare one and he looks down, brow furrowing.

"Forgot gloves?"

He looks down at his bare hands and makes a face, bringing them to his face to breathe on them for warmth.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't snow a lot at hom--in Cali." His coat is too thin, too. He wasn't actually expecting to come here, came last minute and only arranged the time off when he was on the road. He threw cloths into suitcases and started driving.

He's making a note to find where Herc put away his stuff.

It's all sort of starting to hit Raleigh how fast Chuck dropped everything and came out here for him. Before, when Chuck walked into that hospital room it'd been like some kind of dream. The times after, it just...hadn't occurred to him and then they argued and now --

He feels like even more of an asshole.

Raleigh tugs his own gloves off and reaches to catch Chuck's bare ones in his, smoothing over them to give him heat.

"Take mine. I'm used to this weather. It doesn't really bother me."

This really is like whiplash. They're holding hands now and--

"Thanks." He pulls the gloves on and rubs them together. "I've got some cold weather stuff somewhere in the house, I just haven't needed it til now." He wrinkles his nose at the snow as if it's waited for him to really get comfortable.

"You moved here from Alaska, right? Isn't this shorts and t-shirt weather for you?" Chuck teases him after a moment, passing a cup to someone passing by. The wine is keeping him warm and gently fuzzy, a little readier to be casual around Raleigh instead of on edge.

"Yeah, kinda," he says with a grin. "This time of year, it snows almost every day in Anchorage. It's pretty cold here though, but not like Alaska."

The booth is really in a perfect location; they can see the tree from here and they're on the main drag - there's people passing by, picking up the cups and Raleigh's stealing one for himself when he thinks no one is looking. The snow keeps falling - light, but it's sticking.

He nudges a cup in Chuck's direction and hums Christmas carols under his breath.

Edited 2014-01-02 03:54 (UTC)

"Weirdo." Chuck grins crookedly at him.

He'll duck his head to steal a sip here and there. "Do you still come to this every year?" He asks under his breath. Does he go with anyone?

It's gorgeous tonight, the sky darkening quickly in the winter hours, snow showing up bright against the sky and street lamps. The smells of hot wine and cider and baking cookies are floating around and Chuck's starting to feel the warmth in his fingers and around his chest.

It's...the best night Raleigh's had in a long time. Chuck's by his side and the sunset is beautiful and the drink makes him feel good and warm and like things aren't so terrible - at least for tonight.

"Yeah," he says quietly, wrapping his hand around the cup. "Usually work the booth - with Mako."

He doesn't come with anyone. He just -- comes, works, says hello, and goes home. It never really felt right without Chuck plastered against his side and bitching about the temperature.

"You don't just...come for the thing of it?" He can understand why he'd want to skip this year, there've been half a dozen people offering their condolences . Chuck can read Raleigh, even after all this time, and can tell it's grating on him--especially 'condolences', that's what people offer when someone dies--and Chuck's had to play the asshole and pointedly push a cup of wine at them.

He's surprised Raleigh didn't want to just come, he was always the one dragging Chuck out (though Chuck was pretending to object to it), the one getting excited about the holidays.

It’s really starting to grate on Raleigh and when Chuck plays asshole, he sort of sags, flashes him a grateful look and a mumbled thanks.

His question sort of throws Raleigh though, and he looks thoughtful, brings the cup to his lips and takes a long pull and swallows, shivering as the hot liquid burns its way down his throat and into his stomach. Tastes good, and it takes the bitter edge of his life away temporarily.

“Come just for the sake of coming? I did that first year, after you left for school. It was – fucking awful, standing out here alone in the cold. After that, I started volunteering to just run the booth. This time of year, it just hasn’t been the same—“

Since you left.

And now it’s even worse, with Yancy in the hospital. It’s like someone was conspiring against him to ensure that the holidays were the worst time of year that they could be.

Yeah.

Chuck looks away, guilt stabbing him a little in the belly. They're both feeling responsible for each other's misery, and it's sort of terrible.

He passes a hand over his back in response to the thanks, touch light enough that he might not even feel it through the layers. "The wine's helping," he offers, mouth quirked in a partial smirk. They probably aren't meant to be sneaking as much as they are, really.

But there's a look in Raleigh's eyes, if not fully on his face, that's telling Chuck how miserable he is. "Hey." He nudges him with his elbow. "New year in two weeks. New start."

They're really not supposed to be drinking like they are, but seriously Raleigh gives about zero fucks right now. Chuck's hand passes over his back and even as light as the touch it it feels like Chuck's burning him through his coat and he has to clamp down and suppress the shiver.

He can't stop himself from leaning a little closer, automatically adjusting his posture to be more open towards Chuck, more inviting.

"Yeah, so they say," he says quietly. New Year, new start. Sure. "Are you -- sticking around for that?"

[ooc: realized you can't drive cross country in one day so uh he flew in at some ridiculous time of night/day and then rental car'd it to town yeah]

"Yeah." Chuck's in Raleigh's space as much as Raleigh's in his. "I'll be here for new year's." he's planning on leaving on the third or the fourth; he hadn't actually bought a return ticket when he'd flown out here, he has to get on that.

"Do you have any plans?" And they shouldn't hang out, that dinner proved that. But it's sounding like Raleigh might stand Chuck's presence and help a little easier.

The lighting time is growing nearer, and the crowd around the booth is thinning in favor of getting closer to the tree, and Chuck's only looking at Raleigh.

[ ooc; lmfao i didn't even notice WORKS FOR ME ]

There's fewer and fewer people around and that means two things: Raleigh's attention is only on Chuck and he can snag as much hot wine as he pleases.

"No, no plans. We could--" He pauses, looks over at Chuck, meets his eyes and sort of shifts his weight on his feet and licks his lips.

"If you wanted, we could do something. I mean, Rock Hall isn't that exciting-" not like California, "but there'll probab;y be fireworks, a party or something."

"Yeah." He hadn't meant as a couple, but a party. A party could work. "We could hit a party."

The wine has him warm, flushed, a little floating. Raleigh's eyes are bright in the Christmas lights that are strung over the trees and stands. Chuck leans on the counter, facing Raleigh.

This is bad. This is dangerous, and Chuck can't seem to pull away.

The tree lights come on to an appreciative sound from the crowd, and the lights reflect off of Raleigh's face and it's six years ago and Chuck is curling his hand over Raleigh's jaw and leaning in to kiss him.

The lights of the tree come on and he's not looking at it, it's not important because Chuck's right here, right in front of him and he's all light up and his skin glows from wine and he's leaning in to kiss him and Raleigh meets him halfway, hands lifting to frame his face, head tipping into that hand.

He's a little scruffy, a little shadowy since he hasn't shaved since early this morning and he can feel Chuck's hand scrape over it and he leans closer, drops an arm and circles it around his waist, pulling them flush together.

Under the wine and the cider Raleigh tastes just the same as he did five years ago, kisses the same as five years ago.

Chuck kisses him like there's all the time in the world, like he's leaving tomorrow and is memorizing every detail of his mouth and face.
He strokes Raleigh's jaw and throat with his thumb and leans back, pressing his forehead against Raleigh's.

"Sorry," he mumbles, though if he was really sorry he'd pull away from him.

It's a slow, languid kiss and Raleigh takes his time in relearning Chuck's mouth, tasting the cider on his tongue, licking the last drops of it from his lips. He holds him tight, bodies pressed tightly together and when Chuck breaks it and rests their foreheads together, Raleigh doesn't let him go.

"Are you really?" He murmurs, eyes half lidded, gaze fixed on Chuck's mouth.

"A little."

He presses his palms to Raleigh's shoulders. He wants, he wants so much he's aching. "Raleigh." He murmurs his name against his mouth and kisses him again, teeth scraping over his lower lip.

People pass, glance over and keep going -- seems like they're having a 'moment' and no one wants to break up something that Raleigh might actually have going for him.

(even if this may, in fact, not be good - might be the worst thing in the world, but whatever.)

"Shh."

Raleigh's not sorry, not at all and maybe Chuck's just saying that, because he's kissing Raleigh again, saying his name and Raleigh knows he's in so much trouble, he's lost again in Chuck and he just--

kisses him again, spreads his palms on Chuck's back, keeps him close, warmth settling around his heart.

He's sorry. But not because he doesn't want to kiss Raleigh, he's sorry for the pain this is likely to cause the both of them.

But oh, dammit, Raleigh feels good and all he wants to do is press him and kiss him and maybe get out of the snow. And it's going to hurt so much so soon.

And Chuck is considering going home with Raleigh that night and someone should probably intervene.

If anyone intervenes Raleigh is going to punch them in the nose.

"Come home with me," he murmurs quietly, lips still brushing against Chuck's. "Please. Just for tonight."

Fair enough.

"...really, really shouldn't," he mumbles, leaning into him and rubbing the back of Raleigh's neck.

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