simplepuzzle (
simplepuzzle) wrote2013-12-26 09:26 pm
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It's been a while....
It's been five years since Chuck left. Left his home, left his dad, left his dog, left Raleigh.
And he hasn't looked back.
Because if he looked back he'd have to think about what he's left behind and if he thinks about it he'd have to do something about it. But it didn't work and they tried, they tried so hard. And it didn't make a damn bit of difference, so Chuck...throws himself into school. And he tries.
Occasionally, he tries to date. A girl here, a guy there. Every time he tries to make an effort at a relationship it ends with a lot of anger. Chuck's not really good at this. Nothing's compared to Raleigh, and Chuck's not sure he'll ever have something like it again. And he refuses to settle.
Love isn't everything. Chuck focuses on school. It's okay.
And he's good. He's really good. That and the occasional one night stand satisfies him.
And then he gets a call from Herc. Yancy's been in an accident. He's broken a few limbs, and he hasn't woken up. Herc isn't saying he should come back, and Chuck's been staring at Raleigh's number when Mako calls him.
He needs you.
Come home.
And he hasn't looked back.
Because if he looked back he'd have to think about what he's left behind and if he thinks about it he'd have to do something about it. But it didn't work and they tried, they tried so hard. And it didn't make a damn bit of difference, so Chuck...throws himself into school. And he tries.
Occasionally, he tries to date. A girl here, a guy there. Every time he tries to make an effort at a relationship it ends with a lot of anger. Chuck's not really good at this. Nothing's compared to Raleigh, and Chuck's not sure he'll ever have something like it again. And he refuses to settle.
Love isn't everything. Chuck focuses on school. It's okay.
And he's good. He's really good. That and the occasional one night stand satisfies him.
And then he gets a call from Herc. Yancy's been in an accident. He's broken a few limbs, and he hasn't woken up. Herc isn't saying he should come back, and Chuck's been staring at Raleigh's number when Mako calls him.
He needs you.
Come home.
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Come home.
He's hurt.
Yancy hasn't woken up.
Raleigh is completely unaware that Herc calls to let Chuck know. He has no idea Mako makes a second call, though it crosses his mind to call Chuck himself and beg him to please come back, he can't take this, his brother is laying in a hospital bed and he's dying and Raleigh can't--
Do this alone.
He needs Chuck so goddamn bad right now it hurts and even with Mako there as much as she's able, he's still withdrawn, hollow, desperate.
They can't get him to leave Yancy's room long enough to take a shower or eat, so they bring clothing, let him shower in Yancy's bathroom. Mako brings him breakfast, lunch and dinner, and Raleigh picks at it, barely eats and instead sits and talks to Yancy, tells him what's going on, reads the paper, reads a book that Yancy used to read when he was home.
Sometimes, he sleeps curled in the chair and sometimes he sleeps on the pull out couch. Sometimes he doesn't sleep at all.
Right now, he's dozing in the chair, newspaper slowly beginning to slide from his lap. If someone comes in he might jerk awake (or he might not, Raleigh's exhausted and in some physical pain of his own, that left shoulder is pretty fucked up), but until then,
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Not because Mako tells him he has to come home and not because he ever really liked Yancy--though he does, he was always a good guy even when he wasn't sure about Chuck, which Chuck completely respected.
It's because he can't stand the thought of Raleigh wasting away alone by Yancy's bedside.
He drives all night, hasn't slept by the time he gets to the hospital. He hasn't told Mako he's coming, hasn't told his dad, just told his job he needed a week or so and headed out for the road.
Sooo he's not in the best of moods when he gets to the hospital and asks for Yancy Becket's room. He's clutching a shitty cup of hospital cafeteria coffee and a crappy teddy bear he picked up at the gift shop because it felt weird to show up empty handed and he's sort of terrified to see Raleigh again.
Who's asleep.
Which just figures.
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He's not expecting Chuck and he doesn't really register it's him at first. He's still a little bleary, a little out of it but once his eyes focus he sits up straighter, mouth dropping open and working but--
He can't find words for a few moments.
Then, finally--
"Chuck?"
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"You look like shit."
Which is not actually what he meant to say.
"....Mako called," he mutters. "And dad." What, was he supposed to stay away? "You mind if I sit?" Because he can leave, if Raleigh doesn't want him there.
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"I--"
He's on his feet now, and -- and he should really be stopping himself because Chuck's not his boyfriend, Chuck's not his anymore abut--
Fucking hell, Raleigh needs him right now and he's going straight to him, gathering him up in his arms and burying his face in Chuck's neck.
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...he's hugging him back hard, careful of the coffee in his hand but curling his arm tight around his back. "I know," he mutters, gripping his shoulder and rubbing his back. He's not sure why he thought he could just walk in and act like things weren't any different--minus the actual relationship, but.
Raleigh feels so fucking good in his arms.
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Raleigh clings to Chuck, holds on tight because he's so fucking scared, so messed up and what is he supposed to do, Yancy is his focal point, the person he turns to when everything else is in shambles. Yancy is more a father to him than his real dad ever was, and to lose Yancy--
Raleigh doesn't think he can handle it.
And so he leans on Chuck, the guy that he dated all throughout high school, the guy he fell in love with, the guy he still loves -- the one that shook him all up and left him raw and bleeding when he left.
"I'm sorry," he grinds out, pressing his face into Chuck's shoulder. He's not sure why he's apologizing, maybe for the awkward hug, for the assumption he's allowed to just do that. Maybe because of them and what they lost, he's sorry they lost that, too, even though Raleigh's pretty sure it's still there inside of him, embers slowly being fanned back to life with the embrace.
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But he's still hugging him, still holding him because Raleigh feels so fucking good in his arms and if he hadn't known for sure this confirms that he's still in love with him.
Which is not why he's here. He's here because Raleigh's going to make himself sick pretty soon and Chuck can't let that happen. And if the worst should happen--well, he really shouldn't be alone. Chuck's doesn't know if he should be that person, doesn't know if he has the right to be, but he can at least dry to drag Raleigh out of this.
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Yancy really took the brunt of the collision; Raleigh'd walked away with scrapes and bruises and bandages but Yancy...
Yancy was the one fighting for his life, barely hanging on. Raleigh, in turn, is barely hanging on, clinging to the last vestiges of life, just like Yancy.
"Thanks," he says hollowly, a hysterical little chuckle bubbling up, and -- he can't peel himself away from Chuck yet. "For coming."
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The hug is going on a little long, but he's not going to push Raleigh off first. He doesn't know what to do now, honestly. He doesn't know what to say, he doesn't know how to be with Raleigh right now. It feels like he's about to shatter in Chuck's arms and Chuck...
"You need to get out of here." He pulls back, not letting go, keeping a hand on Raleigh's shoulder. "We won't leave the block, i promise, there's a place at the corner."
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This is the not vulnerable he's ever felt in his life. Not even losing Chuck felt like this, though that had been a completely different kind of hurt and fear.
"I-I can't-- what if he wakes up and I'm not here--"
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"Have a sandwich that wasn't made in a hospital cafe."
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He shudders, swallowing the sob that threatens to overtake him, and finally nods. Chuck is right - Yancy would be pissed if he knew that Raleigh was wasting away right there next to him.
"Yeah. Okay."
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He leads Raleigh out, not letting go mostly to make sure Raleigh doesn't try to backtrack to the hospital room. The fresh air has to do Raleigh some good.
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Raleigh sees the bear, takes note of it and it just makes Raleigh lean on Chuck that much more, shivering when they go outside and he's hit with sunlight and air that hasn't been filtered and filtered and filtered.
He can't thank Chuck enough, not in words and he's ashamed of himself for being so weak but...
He can't help it. This is Yancy.
He follows and goes along with Chuck, leaning into his side and clutching at his shirt. Raleigh's clean, he showers, he just...has seen better days.
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He gets them a table outside so Raleigh can get some sunlight and so they can shift the seats so he can continue to cling if he needs. Which he seems to need.
Also a pot of coffee.
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Raleigh needs a lot of things right now and he's so, so grateful for Chuck being here that he doesn't know how to properly articulate it. He's emotionally vulnerable and Chuck showed up when he needed him most and got him out if that hospital room and he just --
Fuck, he doesn't even know.
He sinks into the chair, keeping contact with Chuck but not leaning heavily on him. The coffee is well needed and the food is appreciated.
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Chuck doesn't know where to go from here, just knew he had to get Raleigh out of there for a couple hours at least. He's still not sure what good he's doing, not convinced they're just being unhealthy here.
But he's still not sure what to do, so he starts talking. About his new job, school. He talks about his work, his classes, stays away from the personal life that lead to the split. Just trying to distract Raleigh.
Or put him to sleep, either way.
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Chuck is the best.
Raleigh orders whatever comfort food he can find, then settles in to listen to Chuck talk. He asks questions when necessary, prompts him to keep the conversation going and listens to everything he has to say.
Just hearing his voice has helped immensely and Raleigh wants him to talk forever.
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He talks until his throat starts to get raw. He'll pass the palm of his hand over Raleigh's shoulders now and then, a reassuring gesture.
"What about you?" Because if he keeps talking he's going to lose his voice.
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"Well--"
He swallows, then carefully starts talking about what he's been doing, what he's been up to, how he's gone to school and gotten degrees of his own, set up shop, tried to make a living. He just -- has sort of been throwing himself into things and trying not to think about Chuck (though that isn't something he's voice, though really -- judging by what he's saying it's kind of obvious that's what he was doing).
He talks for a while, as long as Chuck will let him.
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He might start fingercombing Raleigh's hair, petting him gently like he might have while he did homework years ago. It might not be his place, it might be too far when it's been so long, but he can't leave Raleigh right now.
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Raleigh relishes the touches, leans into it and against Chuck as he talks.
He rambles until he runs out of steam, his mouth is dry and he needs water.
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...not that he's planning on leaving immediately.
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He hesitates and his eyes dart in the direction of the hospital but he's so tired, so worn out.
"Yeah. Will you stay a while? Are -- are you able?"
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