Under The Mistletoe

[simplepuzzle]

 
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[unbreachable]

Chuck didn't grow up with a brother. He doesn't know what it's like to share everything, to lose everything, all the time, to the older, flawless, and more perfect version of yourself. To Yancy.

Raleigh's not looking at Chuck, just over the edge of the railing and out at the landscape before him.

"It seemed like it was pretty under control to me."

He grips the metal of the balcony and takes a deep breath, fingers flexing.

[simplepuzzle]

"Fuck no." Chuck smiles, a little cautiously because Raleigh seems to be in a weird mood. He reaches to grip his shoulder. "Come on, it's bad luck to stand with someone under it and not kiss them."

Come on Raleigh kiss your boyfriend in front of a crowd of people.

[unbreachable]

He shakes the grip off, and shakes his head.

"I'm sure Yancy will be happy to kiss you again."

[simplepuzzle]

"Yeah I bet, but I wanna kiss you." He leans back, arms crossed. "Ray come on, just come back to the party with us."

He doesn't understand the problem because Raleigh never tells him when something's bothering him, he just stews and sulks and Chuck'e left to wonder what the fuck he did. He'd done this before they got together too, when it was just him going between the brothers for sex.

[unbreachable]

"I--no."

He takes a deep breath.

"I can't do this anymore."

There. He said it. Are you happy?

[simplepuzzle]

Chuck feels cold, like someone poured a bucket of ice straight down into his stomach and chest.

"What are you talking about?"

But. But they were happy. And Yancy knows Raleigh better than anyone he'd have noticed, he'd have told Chuck.

[unbreachable]

"I'm talking about the three of us."

He gestures between them, and then in the direction of the party.

"I just can't. I'm not -- it's killing me. I can't."

[simplepuzzle]

"But--"

They were happy.

"...you don't love me any more?" he demands, refusing refusing to sound upset or broken or--or needy. Raleigh's skipped out on a few of their dates, and he thought he was just avoiding Yancy but now...

[unbreachable]

"I love you more than I could've thought possible. It's why I can't...share anymore. I just -- I can't do it."

You've gotta pick, Chuck. Or he's gonna make the decision for you and leave.

[simplepuzzle]

That's unfair.

"So you're just going to give up? On...on all of this?" On the fight that led to all of them being together? On Chuck? On everything they went to to get where they were?

[unbreachable]

"What do you want me to do? Be miserable? Grow to...to hate you? Him?"

That isn't fair. You know what you got into, Chuck. You know it's unconventional.

[simplepuzzle]

And Raleigh knew what he was getting into, knowing his issues with his older brother. He did it anyway and seemed fucking fine with it.

"I thought you loved him too," he says, a little snappishly. "Or was all of it just pretend for me?" Don't you fucking dare pretend that, Raleigh, not for Chuck.

[unbreachable]

His eyes narrow.

"Oh fuck you Chuck. Don't be ridiculous of course I love him too. But I can't share you anymore."

[simplepuzzle]

"Where the fuck is this coming from?" he bites out, uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides, hands fisted. "You were happy enough to jump in back in Vegas!"

Or does Chuck have to remind him he's not a fucking thing to be passed back and forth until Raleigh gets bored.

[unbreachable]

"I said I'd try! I tried! Be happy with him, if that's what you want! But I'm not doing this anymore."

Excuse him, he's going to storm out of the party now. Chuck is his own man and can do as he pleases but that doesn't mean Raleigh has to be privy to something that's hurting him.

[simplepuzzle]

No it doesn't but it also doesn't mean Chuck deals well with watching people he loves walk away from him because he's not giving them as much as they want from him.

And it sounds like Raleigh's made up his mind, so.

So.

Chuck grabs one of the bottles of rum intended for eggnog and takes it out to the balcony and glares at anyone who dares approach him.

[getcocky]

A few minutes later Yancy finds him, a frown on his face as he comes up behind him.

"Chuck? What happened to Rals? He just -- stormed out. Is everything okay?"

[simplepuzzle]

Chuck wishes Yancy had waited until he was drunker, but there's not too much he can do about that.

He glares at the bottle and takes another vicious swig. "He's decided he doesn't want me if I'm going to keep fucking you," he says shortly. "Apparently it's 'killing him'."

[getcocky]

Yancy blinks, glances over his shoulder and then looks back to Chuck.

"He -- seriously?"

How the fuck had Yancy not noticed any of Raleigh's tells?

[simplepuzzle]

"Seriously." Chuck offers the bottle, not looking at Yancy. "He's giving up."

Because Chuck can't give all of himself to Raleigh and--it's selfish, right? Chuck's being selfish because he can't--because he wants both of them?

[getcocky]

He takes the bottle dazedly, looks down at it before taking a sip and handing it back.

"If...he can't do it, he can't do it, Chuck."

[simplepuzzle]

"Whatever." He grabs the bottle back and drinks it roughly. "So then I'm breaking up with you, too, or...whatever."

Because he's selfish he's the worst and he doesn't want Yancy without Raleigh, he doesn't want to choose so he'll...take neither.

[getcocky]

It hurts. It...hurts a lot, actually. Feels like someone grabbed his heart and ripped it right out of his chest and smashed it.

He takes a deep breath, the hitch betraying him but he ignores it.

"I --"

He swallows again, jaw set.

"Alright."

[simplepuzzle]

"Seriously?" Chuck snaps over his shoulder, glaring. "You're not even going to argue it?"

Not that it's something he really wants to argue but--

"What the fuck is wrong with you two?" he demands. "We're all fucked up, all three of us, why can't we--" it's not fair.

[getcocky]

"Do you want me to argue it?" Yancy asks through clenched teeth. "I'm not going to argue with you about what you want. I won't -- push you."

He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture that Raleigh echoes more often than not.

"Yeah, we're fucked up," he grits out. "We're really fucked up. Me and Rals more than most. Maybe he just needs some time. That's all. If it's hurting him--"

He cuts off and turns away.

"I don't want to hurt my brother."