It's been a while....

[simplepuzzle]

 It's been five years since Chuck left. Left his home, left his dad, left his dog, left Raleigh. 

And he hasn't looked back.

Because if he looked back he'd have to think about what he's left behind and if he thinks about it he'd have to do something about it. But it didn't work and they tried, they tried so hard. And it didn't make a damn bit of difference, so Chuck...throws himself into school. And he tries. 

Occasionally, he tries to date. A girl here, a guy there. Every time he tries to make an effort at a relationship it ends with a lot of anger. Chuck's not really good at this. Nothing's compared to Raleigh, and Chuck's not sure he'll ever have something like it again. And he refuses to settle. 
Love isn't everything. Chuck focuses on school. It's okay. 

And he's good. He's really good. That and the occasional one night stand satisfies him. 

And then he gets a call from Herc. Yancy's been in an accident. He's broken a few limbs, and he hasn't woken up. Herc isn't saying he should come back, and Chuck's been staring at Raleigh's number when Mako calls him. 
He needs you. 
Come home. 

Comments

[simplepuzzle]

"Ray, you've been barely been handling yourself."

Chuck's considering hiring a babysitter for this man.
Not that Raleigh needs taking care of, but--

--yeah no he needs someone taking care of him right now.

[unbreachable]

Chuck if you hire someone to take care of Raleigh he will punch you in the face.

"I'm pulling it together."

He has to. He's got no other choice.

[simplepuzzle]

Worth it.

"It took your ex boyfriend of five years ago coming in to town to get you out of the hospital," Chuck says sharply. Can Raleigh actually look at how he's been the past week and think that he's been holding it together?

And he wasn't going to bring up their relationship, wasn't going to talk about it, but dammit Raleigh.

[unbreachable]

"He's my brother," Raleigh snaps back, eyes flashing.

"I needed to be there for him. He's always been there for me."

Especially when Chuck left.

[simplepuzzle]

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be there for him," Chuck agrees, scowling.

"I'm not saying you shouldn't be there or by his side, but you're about as capable of making good decisions as he is right now," he growls, leaning back in his seat and shaking his head. He realizes he might be going to far, but Raleigh is close to killing himself with worry and no one in his life can stand to see it.

[unbreachable]

Except who is there in his life? Coworkers maybe, he still talks to Chuck's dad but that's it. He has people he talks to but --

He's not close to any of them and Chuck certainly isn't in his life.

"Fuck you," he snarls, starting to stand. "I don't need this shit right now."

[simplepuzzle]

Coworkers, Mako, Herc--everyone loves Raleigh, he's a fucking puppy.

"Raleigh, sit back down." Chuck reaches to grab Raleigh's wrist.

"Stop acting like you're the only person in this, take a fucking break and ask for some fucking help," he hisses. He'll let go of Raleigh pulls again, but he wants Raleigh to new that. "You can't do everything yourself."

[unbreachable]

"Who do you want me to ask?" He shoots back, though he does sit back down.

"Herc? You?"

[simplepuzzle]

"You have to have friends," he slowly lets to of Raleigh's wrist.

"Dad and Mako both called me, did I tell you that? Have you asked anyone for help?"

[unbreachable]

"No, you didn't."

He's pulling his arm away now, tucking it in his lap.

"What difference does it make to you? I'll figure it out, Chuck. I just need to get my head back on straight."

[simplepuzzle]

"...I guess it doesn't."

It's not like Chuck has any say or input in Raleigh's life. "I think I'm going to get the lobster Mac and cheese," he mutters, pulling his beer closer.

He lost the right to fight Raleigh on shit like this when he left, apparently.

[unbreachable]

He kind of did, unfortunately.

"Burger for me."

He tugs his own beer closer, sighs, and takes a long pull.

This wasn't going at all how he wanted.

[simplepuzzle]

Yeah. Because they decided not to be friends, so he doesn't even have friend privileges.

"If my being here's making it worse, i don't have to be," he mutters. It's not a threat, it's an honest concern right now. "Mako could have had it wrong."

[unbreachable]

"It's fine, Chuck. It's nice to see you."

And really, it is. He's glad to see him. It was a surprise, and not a bad one.

He just -- it's hard, knowing that Chuck is dating and he's not and he can't...

It's just hard.

[simplepuzzle]

"Nice isn't the same thing as good for you," Chuck mutters a little dully.

He taps his fingers on the glass, gaze out on the river.

"And we we never good for each other, were we?" Dammit Chuck you were going to avoid this. But Raleigh's been physical and comfortable, called him 'babe' when he wasn't paying close attention, and then he asked about relationships and if he's only happy Chuck's there because he's thinking about what they used to be like, he's not sure he should stay.

[unbreachable]

...Godammit Chuck. Raleigh doesnt' want to do this either.

"We were great for each other," Raleigh says flatly. "But it doesn't matter anymore."

Why did he do this. He shouldn't have invited him out.

[simplepuzzle]

No, Chuck thinks, because if they were so great for each other they would have worked, distance or no.

"I can go," he mutters, quieter again. "If you don't want help." It's partially that they brought up the past, and partially that he's there to help Raleigh and if Raleigh isn't going to accept anything Chuck isn't sure what he's doing.

[unbreachable]

Raleigh snorts into his beer.

"I'm not gonna stop you one way or another."

He hadn't before. He won't this time, either. Chuck's gonna do what he wants to do, no matter what anyone else says.

"It's up to you."

[simplepuzzle]

No, he wouldn't. Just like before.

"...yeah." Chuck digs his wallet out and pulls a few bills out. "Stay and eat," he says shortly, standing and picking up his jacket. "Take a cab."

He got Raleigh to get out of the hospital, and that's probably the best he's going to do.

[unbreachable]

And try to stop Chuck from his dreams? The fuck kind of asshole does Chuck think he is?

"Yeah, actually, you know what," he shoves his chair back and gets up as well, tossing his own cash down, "I've suddenly lost my appetite. But you go on and go, you're damn good at that."

He turns on his heel at that, and marches right out of the restaurant, leaving his jacket on the the chair.

[simplepuzzle]

"Fuck you!" Yeah, Chuck's not going to be welcomed back here. He grabs Raleigh's jacket and storms after him.

He throws it at Raleigh's back once they're outside, once he's close enough to do so.

"I left," he says, heart pounding in his ears and not bothering to keep his voice down. "I left this but I never wanted to leave you. That was all your idea, remember?"

This was a mistake, this was all a mistake, coming back, being with Raleigh--he should never have come back.

[unbreachable]

He turns, the jacket fluttering to the ground. It stays there.

"So what the fuck, Chuck? Did you expect me to just give up everything I had here and follow you like a puppy because you were too busy doing what you wanted to do? I was fucking in love with you -- I was gonna ask you to marry me and yeah, I thought about trailing after you." He's not bothering to keep his voice down either.

"I broke up with you, that's on me and I'll never deny it, but I did it because I was holding you back. You weren't ever coming back here and I was busy trying to get my own shit done and help Yancy get Jaz get through fucking college! I never wanted to lose you, Chuck! Christ--"

He flings his hands up, tugs at his hand before dropping them in exasperation.

"I'm still in love with you! It's pathetic!"

[simplepuzzle]

He--

Marry--

Chuck is floored.
And Chuck is pissed.

"Then you should have waited for me!" He shouts, hands clenched. "I would have waited for you to be ready to leave! Or--Jesus, i don't know, commuted!" Across the country, sure but--it could have worked. Six months, three months at a time.

"I was never going to ask you to follow me until you were ready," he continues after a long moment where he fails to collect himself. "Until i thought there might be a chance for you to come." He's tied, he's feeling so tired and angry at Raleigh for putting them both through this. He yanks his hand away from Raleigh's grip and takes a step back from him. "I don't think you get to say that to me right now." He doesn't get to say he broke up with Chuck 'for his own good' and still loves him.

[unbreachable]

"What, commute across the country? Are you fucking serious? How the hell would that have even worked out?! You would've been mad because I didn't want to move and I would've been mad you wouldn't come back!"

Raleigh feels like he wants to collapse and when Chuck yanks his hand back, Raleigh doesn't stop him.

"Yeah, you're right, 's all my fault, everything's my fault. I should've waited, should've let you be ready, should've let you fucking...commute when you felt like seeing me. You're right, I won't say that to you."

He bends, snatches at his jacket with trembling hands.

"I'm sorry I asked you out, and I'm sorry Herc and Mako guilted you into coming back to this shithole and dealing with someone you so clearly hate," he says. "I won't call you again."

And he's going to go get in a cab. This -- this wasn't worth it. He'd ruined everything and--

Forget it. He's going back to the hospital and going through some paperwork.

[simplepuzzle]

"I don't hate you, you idiot!" He's yelling again. "You--I came back because you were hurting, because I was worried about Yancy and i was worried about you, because Mako told me you were in bad shape, and i couldn't stand the thought of you worrying yourself to death!"

He doesn't know how much more of Raleigh he can take right now, of this bullshit.

"It's your fault we broke up because you insisted it was better for both if us," he snaps. "We would have worked it out." Or not, but now they don't know, do they? "I would've--" he wants.

"Nothing's your fault." Because he's going to beat himself up about that, Chuck just knows it. But Raleigh had needed him, and Chuck had come. He'll leave again, he'll move around the country and even the world if he can, but if Raleigh needs him he'll come running.

How's that for pathetic.